The Gun Line MkIII

Well, been home for almost two months now…

Since I got home, I really haven’t noticed any psychological after-effects of the deployment – but I didn’t experience anything “traumatic”, just a few rocket attacks that were too far away to really get my attention (exciting, yes, but not frightening)…  I don’t dive under mailboxes any deeper now than I did before we left (that behavior is a result of previous military experiences), so I think I got off lucky on that score.  My thoughts and prayers go out to the guys and gals who got a lot closer to the action than I did – THEY are the ones who need your powers of prayer, not me, I’m good, thanks…

Physically, I’ve got some VA Claims going on, two for conditions I believe were caused by the deployment, and a few where an existing condition was aggravated by the deployment, mostly falling under the category of “this is what happens when you try to keep up with folks half your age…”  Of all of them, the most worrisome is the tinnitus, which is to be expected when you live so close to the flight line that when the F-16s lift off – a pair of them, twice a day, for 10 months- the air around you crackles, and you can’t hold a shouted conversation with a fellow less than two feet away…

Emotionally, I’m doing okay…  I used a vast amount of the money from the deployment to buy the tools I will need for my education and a business project I plan on initiating about this time next year.  New desktop computer, because my old laptop needs a break…  Got the truck fixed, bought clothes, paid off bill and some expenses, stuff like that.  Maintaining overwatch on Jake, as he navigates the perils of adolescence, and keeping an eye on Katie Kat as she enters the rough waters of teenager-hood.  Trying to keep things cordial between KM6 and myself, and I think that we are being mostly successful, we’ve had more conversations filled with laughter than we have venom, which gives me hope.

I have enrolled in an Associates Degree Program for Business Administration, which I will most likely extend out to a Bachelor’s Degree, as my Montgomery GI Bill has been re-activated and will cover completely…

My support structure is very powerful, and I’m not really wanting for very much.  I’ve got a good roof over my head, food in my belly, a church to attend, friends who interact with me day by day – “normal” things that tell me that life goes on, well, “normally”, and that calms any demon in my soul.

And then there’s “Ice”..

Ice is a rescued dog.  She was left behind when a neighbor’s “guests” left in the middle of the night, leaving the dog tied under a bush.  The neighbor wasn’t prepared to deal with her, and asked if I could find a good home for her.  (I want to say, right now, that I am a sucker for a pretty face…)  A few days (and some extensive grooming later) and Ice has been welcomed into my home, and my heart.

But all is not beer and skittles at the Firebase…  The economy has taken its toll.  I had expected to find work long before now, but I just finished filing for unemployment, a step I never expected to take, but the coffers are beginning to look quite lean.  I’ve got to admit to a little exasperation…  I mean, here I am, fit, healthy, ready to work, with an impressive resume and strong work ethics, and I can’t attract the attention of an employer for love nor money, not if I want anything over and above a job that contains the phrase “Would you like fries with that?”

I realize that I could move, relocate to where the jobs are, but I don’t want to leave this place.  I certainly don’t want to leave my kids, my loved ones, or my hometown – if my reticence is my undoing, so be it, but there’s got to be something out there, I just haven’t tapped into it yet.  Hopefully, in a year, my project will kick off, and I will be fully solvent – to the point where not only cvan I walk to work, but I can employ a few of the folks in Rockford, which is something we – the town- really needs:  Local employers…

In the meantime, I’ve got to keep the lights on and the bills paid, so the search continues…

Keep me in your prayers, but know that everything is okay…  Not perfect, but much better than they could be, all things considered…